Called To You So Clearly, But You Don't Want To Hear Me..

Today kinda sucked I suppose.It started out alright - today is my early day to get out of school so that was good. But then I get some bullshit text from Danny saying that she's not attracted to me, and that giving up Heather was a mistake? And a text from Heather saying that after she left my house last night, she went to hers and the two of them were flirting and hugging and her feelings came back? But she doesn't want that to effect our friendship? Really bitch? Mm, that's funny. I don't really care all that much, it's just the fact of the matter. Fuck it. Yknow? She can have the bitch.

I'm really starting to see that most of all my friends are pieces of shit - it doesn't really matter much though, once I get out of high school, I doubt I'll keep in contact with much of anyone save for a select few. I don't know, I'm trying to have a more positive outlook on life - I don't want to let little shit bring me down, so I let it out on here.

Kristina. What the fuck is up with her. Seriously, I mean. I love the girl. I really do love her, and I want to be with her. But the bitch NEVER. FUCKING. TALKS. TO. ME. I text her three or four fucking times and get an answer to none of them. Then I call her figuring her lazy ass can't put the effort to send a fucking text message, but then she hangs up on me and texts me back THEN to tell me she can't talk. -.-; Fucking seriously? fucking. seriously. She pisses me the fuck off. So much for fucking telling her my mom might be getting us back on the 20th, huh? Cause y'know, that would mean she could come and stay with me again. But no, she's too busy doing fucking NOTHING to text back the girl she's supposedly "loves" and "wants to marry". Uhm..yeahbullshit. I'm obviously of no importance to her if she can't even fucking text me. She really makes me feel worthless. Every fucking time I go to my counselor, I talk about her. Today I was talking about how much I want to see her, and that I hope my mom gets us back so that she can come and stay with me so that we can get back to being the way we used to be. I'm so fucking tired of feeling this way. And she's pushing me to let her the fuck go. Seriously, it's only a matter of time before I really do not give a fuck anymore. She's being a fucking bitch, hardcore. Yeah, she "talks and thinks about me all the time". Pshh, yeah fucking right. Then why the fuck doesn't she EVER talk to me? Hm? Riddle me that, motherfucker. She really gets me fucking heated. I told her I was giving up, asked her if she had anything to say to me before I didn't respond to her anymore - y'know what I got back? NOTHING. Mm, yeah. She really loves me, doesn't she? I'm really fucking feeling it. Never felt so much love in my life. Fuck it, she can stay with her fucked up boyfriend. The one she isn't comfortable with, the one that makes her feel like shit, the one she always fights with, the one that picks everything over her, the one that couldn't possibly love her like I do. She can't fucking see that I've changed. "One day it'll happen, when it's meant to." Well, bitch, if you're not going to give me a chance now because of the fucking past then guess what? There ain't gunna be a future. I'm so fucking tired of loving someone who doesn't give a flying fuck about me. I'm done. I really want to be fucking done. I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to let her back in. She can fucking talk to me when she wants to put forth some effort. She doesn't have a fucking job, she doesn't go to school - she isn't doing fucking shit that's important and yet she can't even talk to me throughout the day. Really? Good. Fuck you, too. Keep your ass in New York, I will get this love the fuck out of me. And if I can't get rid of it, I'll ignore it. I can't keep fucking doing this to myself. Can't say I didn't try.

Don't feel like typing anymore. Fuck the rest of my day.